This topic was not something I had planned on discussing here on Hoosier-land Homemaker, especially not for the first post, but things don’t always work out the way we plan.
On Friday, September 26th, 2014 my father passed away. We knew he had health problems but he was on medication, unfortunately at 3:20pm the medication wasn’t enough to keep him alive.
In the past 4 days, I’ve come to terms knowing that my 2nd of 3 rocks are no longer here to provide support. (“Rocks”- a term my sister & I use to describe people in our lives that will give advice, someone to run to when we’ve found ourselves in trouble, someone who- no matter the circumstances- are by our sides regardless of what the outcome may be.)
The unfortunate side to losing a parent is losing a parent who had many “pebbles” of their own. The pebbles want to be rocks but they don’t have enough stability in their own lives to be that rock to someone else.
If I haven’t completely lost you already, these “pebbles” of my dad’s have done nothing but make this experience of laying my father to rest difficult, like a nightmare out of some twisted soap opera. I don’t handle drama well, not unless I can change the channel.
The Remaining Rock
Earlier I mentioned that I had 1 of 3 rocks remaining. This remaining rock would be my husband. He has heard me repeat the same phrases over and over the past few days and in 5 minutes when I need to repeat them again, he will be there to listen.
He has also done an outstanding job at making sure I eat. When I was younger, I thought people brought over food to those who lost loved ones to give them one less thing to think about, making supper. Oh no, they do it because if someone wasn’t there to make sure they were eating, they never would. You just don’t notice the body telling you it’s time to eat, you’re too focused on the gaping hole that has been taken from your heart.
Greater Than A Mountain
In keeping with the “rock” theme, one of the great comforts I have, even though I am down to one “rock”, is knowing that I have The One who is greater than any rock or mountain- God. If it were not the comfort He offers through His word, I would be a wreck right now. It is His strength that helps me face the future without an Earthly father, because with God, I still have a Father who can and is with me every moment of the day.
“God is our safe place and our strength. He is always our help when we are in trouble. 2 So we will not be afraid, even if the earth is shaken and the mountains fall into the center of the sea, 3 and even if its waters go wild with storm and the mountains shake with its action.” Psalms 46:1-3 (NLV)
No matter what happens today, tomorrow, or years down the road I take comfort in knowing that even if all of my rocks are called to heaven, I still have one powerful and mighty God who loves me for me because I am His unique creation. And no matter how many “pebbles” I encounter on my journey, God is greater than any.